Couples Massage – the benefit of learning massage for you and your partner

Couples Massage WorkshopThe Benefits of Couples Massage

There’s something just a bit special about couples massage. Giving your partner a body massage is a treat; and a wonderful way of helping them de-stress after a hard day and showing them you care. There are obvious benefits to the lucky person on the receiving end of the massage of course; but what about the person giving it?

It’s relationship-building

Spending time doing something solely for your partner really does show them that you care. Yes, you could give them a voucher for a massage at the spa but think about how romantic it can be to dim the lights and carry out a massage yourself?

A spa or therapy massage is necessarily clinical – it’s relaxing and enjoyable of course but it’s on a massage couch in a clinic or spa setting with someone who has to keep you at emotional and physical arm’s length to do a professional job. Couples massage is completely different; you’re massaging in your own familiar surroundings, there’s no pressure and you don’t have to leave after 60 minutes. The relaxing benefits of massage from someone that you know well are easy to understand. There’s no awkwardness so he or she can get straight into the feel-good tension busting mood.

It helps to build trust

Trust is vital to any relationship and a massage is a wonderful way to establish that bond.  If you know your partner really well –  you’ll be able to pinpoint the exact moment that they just let themselves go deeply into the massage and relax under your touch completely. At that point, they are completely surrendering and trusting you totally. It’s a powerful emotional connection for both partners.

Building trust leads to stronger feelings of intimacy, which helps to reduce stress. Reducing stress has a cumulative effect; it helps protect against conditions that develop when stress builds up in the body like cardiovascular disease, autoimmune conditions and even IBS.

It improves intimacy

A couple’s massage is a completely different thing than a professional treatment, even if the strokes do the same thing. Of course, that’s how it should be; nobody wants to get too attached to their massage therapist! When you’re having a couples’ massage though it’s a different scenario – you’re doing this for your partner because you care for them and want to be physically close to them. Intimacy isn’t just a physical thing – it’s also about emotional closeness which isn’t something that all relationships have automatically.

Building an intimate connection with someone is good for your overall health; it releases the hormone oxytocin which promotes bonding and also helps to boost your overall wellbeing. You can nurture the intimate connection with your partner just by spending time alone with them, just concentrating on each other. Although massage isn’t the only way to do this of course, it’s a really good way!  Try it – watch as your emotional connection deepens.

Giving a massage makes YOU feel good

You’re so wrapped up in giving that massage and making your partner feel good that you don’t have the time to think about day to day niggles. Those minor irritations that seemed so important get put to one side as you massage away, and the tension seems to melt away from both of you. You can become quite absorbed in the act! There’s no denying that giving a massage can feel as good as getting one as you bond with your lover.

A couples’ massage session gives you peace, quiet and alone time where you can tune in to each other’s needs. The act of making your partner feel good reflects on you and you’ll feel more positive about yourself and your relationship. You might even be able to talk your other half into returning the favour…

Learn how to give a massage to your partner

If you would like to learn how to massage your partner, I run workshops to teach you exactly how.

Contact me today to find out when my next workshop is, or book a private workshop for you and your partner.

Thanks for reading!


How to use essential oils for coughs and colds in children

There are lots of coughs and colds around at the moment, so I have put together this article about how to use essential oils to sooth the symptoms of coughs and colds in children.

I know that when my children were small I wanted to use natural, drug free solutions, and before I learned about aromatherapy I would not have known where to start.  So many questions – which essential oils? How many drops? Mix what with what? How to use them?  How long to keep them? Where to keep them?   So confusing!

This article is for you if you have children, or grand-children, and would like to know exactly how to use essential oils for coughs and colds – the what, when, how and where!

I want to make it easy for you, so here are easy step by step instructions using just 3 essential oils.

Step 1:  Buy the essential oils. 

First of all, make sure that the essential oils you purchase are of good quality, organic if possible, and make sure that they are pure essential oils, not fragrant oils.  Buy from a reputable supplier – your local health food store, also Neal’s Yard, Essential Oils Direct, Amphora Aromatics are a few good brands I can recommend and you can buy online.  If you live in the UK I can also supply you with essential oils, just contact me.    The 3 we are going to be using are Eucalyptus, Lavender and Tea Tree.  While shopping, buy a small glass screw top bottle to mix.

Step 2:  Blend.

Mix together 10 drops of eucalyptus, 10 drops of tea tree and 10 drops of lavender.  Keep this mixture in a small glass screw top bottle.

Step 2:  Choose your method


There are two main types of diffuser.  The common factor is that they have a water reservoir above and a method of warming the water below.  The classic type has a space for a nightlight candle underneath.  Modern versions are electric, some with colour change effect.  I have both types and they are equally as good.  The electric version can be a bit noisy.  If you are using them around a child or baby, you are going to have to place them somewhere out of reach, especially if you are using it in their bedroom.

The essential oils are added to the water and as the heat source warms the water the aroma is spread throughout the room.  The essential oils are then breathed in through the nose.    Note – always use tepid or cold water, not too hot, otherwise the essential oils will evaporate too quickly and you will lose the effect.


Adding drops of essential oil to a warm bath is very relaxing and when you or your child are feeling under the weather it really helps, as you are inhaling the essential oils along with the steam which sooths the nasal passages, as well as getting the effect of the oils on the skin.  Ensure the bath is warm, not hot, because if it is too hot the essential oils will evaporate too quickly.  If you are running the bath for a child it wouldn’t be too hot anyway.  It is very important to ensure you swish the essential oils around with your hand before getting in because otherwise the essential oils will sit on the surface of the water and will be concentrated on the skin of the body as they get in.  20 minutes in the bath, wrapped up in a warm towel, in their PJ’s and into a cosy bed.


Mixing essential oils with a carrier oil such as Sweet Almond Oil or Grapeseed Oil and then applying by massage is one of the best ways to use essential oils because you have the effect of the essential oils together with the potent effect of human touch giving a very positive effect on the body and mind.  If a child had a cough or cold, then you can simply massage the oils on to their back, chest and maybe also their feet.  Very comforting and soothing, and they get the effect of the oils as they breathe in.  Great to do just before bed.

Step 3: Safety Precautions

Never use neat essential oils directly on the skin. There are a couple of exceptions to this rule.  Lavender can be applied undiluted to burns, cuts and insect bites.

Never use essential oils internally.  I know that a popular brand from the USA advocates using essentially oils internally but I would not recommend this for adults and never ever for babies or children. The IFA (International Federation of Aromatherapists) does not recommend this method of use. 

Babies and children require much smaller amount of the oils than adults to obtain effective results. Essential oils are potent and using more definitely does not mean better results. Keep to the guidance I have given.

Step 4:  Work out how many drops depending on age of child.

Age Diffuser Bathing Massage chest/back
6 m to 12 m 2 drops 1 drop 3 drops to 15 ml carrier oil
1 to 5 years 3 drops 2 drops 3 drops to 15 ml carrier oil
6 to 12 years 3/4 drops 3 drops 4 drops to 15 ml carrier oil
12+ 5 drops 4 drops 5 drops to 15 ml carrier oil

For children over 12 you can also use steam inhalation if your child is congested by using 5 drops of the mix in a bowl of hot (not boiling) water, with a towel placed over head and bowl.  Always supervise.

If you have questions, would like to know more, just drop me a message, I will be pleased to help.

Would you like my FREE e-book?  It is all about Aromatherapy for common ailments in babies and children.  If you would like a copy please click here:

Thanks for reading!





The information provided in this article is for personal information and interest only. It is not intended to offer professional medical advice or treatment for any condition. Always consult your GP or medical practitioner if you have any health concerns whatsoever. 
If you have any health problems or suffer from a chronic condition or are taking any medication you should always seek advice from your GP or medical practitioner prior to using aromatherapy.
Please note that I do not accept any liability for misuse of essential oils or other products or for any reliance on the information provided by me in this article or on my website.